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Happy Friday my funky Friday friends. What a crazy week. It’s like one of Hemmer’s spa nights. Bad things happen, but it’s okay because we’re all in the same boat.
First of all, the town hall last night. What did we get from Joe? An incoherent jumble of memories, confused looks, but the best Cornholio imitation of Beavis and Butthead in history. What was that? There was more
Joe Biden, October 21: 40% of all product entering the United States of America on the West Coast goes through Los Angeles, and what am I doing here?
Anderson VSooper: is it Long Beach?
Biden: Long Beach. Thank you
Anderson Cooper: Are you planning to visit the southern border?
Joe Biden: I’ve been there before and I haven’t. I mean, I know that. I guess I should get off.
Joe Biden: So what you see is wages are actually going up
Joe Biden: I have the freedom to kill you
Joe Biden: I guess you’ll start to see gas prices go down as we move into winter. I mean, excuse me, next year, 2022.
Joe Biden: I have to tell you, I don’t have a short term answer.
Anderson Cooper: Mr. Speaker. Mister President.
President Joe Biden: By the way, there are two famous guys in this audience here.
Maybe they were Beavis and Butthead. Well, it’s the opposite of comforting. It seems his only strategy is to deviate from our present misery and promise more misery. Well, that and fake train stories.
Joe Biden: A lot of people at Amtrak have become my family, it’s no joke. // Angelo Negre was from, remember Ang? Ang came up to me one day when I was, when they had just announced that I had flown a million, a certain number of miles on an air force plane and Ang comes in and I get in the car and he goes, Joey, baby, what are you doing. And I thought the Secret Service was going to shoot him. I said, no, no, no, it’s good. It is good. True story.
Ride on the trains of a human wreck. Sorry – the only Biden who knows the rails is Hunter after snorting a few new ones.
WILL CAIN HAS QUESTIONS AFTER BIDEN TOWN HALL
As America worries, Joe tells a debunked story about a deceased Amtrak worker. This guy’s memory is so bad that he plagiarizes his own lies. As for the supply chain fiasco, we made this story last week. But like the president’s memory it only got worse
Empty shelves. Rising prices. Panic. Kat can’t even buy hair. Still nothing has changed. Why? Because it doesn’t affect the politicians, the rich, the militant class. The very holes that are responsible for this mess. But it affects you poor country bums and you don’t notice.
I mean, when was the last time you wore a designer dress to a gala? For me, it was Thursday. But I digress.
Sure, they dragged Buttigieg out of his marshmallow and kitten fort to make a statement, but he didn’t offer anything other than “sorry you got stuck with that.” He is smart, but no leader. This is Eddie Haskell from “Leave it to Beaver”, except he doesn’t like the beaver.
ATLANTIC TARGETS “ABUNDANT AMERICANS” WHO “BUY THINGS THEY DON’T NEED” AMONG THE SUPPLY CHAIN CRISIS
Now I have nothing against paternity leave. Sorry: Mayor Pete gave paternity leave a bad name. Go away for a few months? It’s not like he’s Octomom. He did not have 8 children by Caesarean section. Get a cushy federal post full of perks, then bail out for two months as the country languishes. Who do you think you are? Kamala Harris?
Hell, even I didn’t bail out my freshman year in college and that was after realizing it was a Holiday Inn Express.
The point is, no one is responsible. And nobody cares.
Biden is a big, rickety Trojan horse that gets dragged into your living room by Jen Psaki, Susan Rice, and Ron Klain, but there are no warriors inside, just dust. To get us into Halloween mode, this chair is the Headless Horseman. It’s not a costume, it’s real. And the cobwebs for the decorations come from inside Biden’s head.
Do you know how you can say that no one is responsible? Where are those infamous executive orders that Biden triggered when he walked in? Remember how that was supposed to show he was in charge when in reality it was all just a symbolic bull ****.
Take the border crisis. All he wanted to do was reverse the politics of the Trump era, let the new politics fail, then sneak back to Trump’s and act like he saved us from the disaster he put us in. unnecessarily.
WHITE HOUSE BREADED TO QUOTE ‘REPORTING’ ABOUT BIDEN’S 2008 ‘DRIVE THROUGH’ AT THE BORDER AMID REVIEW
Now – with this massive crisis, nothing. He could do something. But he won’t. Speaking of Trump, he would have eased the supply chain crisis as if it were a hurricane. The same way he solved North Korea. The Middle East with the Abrahamic Agreements. And of course the vaccines.
He allegedly targeted the issues and detonated them as if they were Solemani on the way to the airport.
With the supply chain. He would have created warp speed in a trucker’s hat. Just with his dealings with the Hell’s Angels, the shelves would already be full of Christmas toys.
Oh wait, that’s right … his tweets were abrasive at times. So let’s replace it with a cross between Gilligan and Thurston Howell III. The result: Biden’s remorse. Without anyone claiming responsibility for solving this problem. Neither Pete, nor Joe, nor even Kamala. She’s too busy avoiding the immigration crisis. Even migrants don’t flee the border the way it does.
BIDEN BLAME NOW LONGSHOREMAN, HAS TRAPPED IN A “GREEN” BOX AS INFLATION POINTS: “THE FIVE”
Meanwhile, we found out that this Merrick Garland clown show casually targeted domestic terrorists – that is, parents – based on a frivolous letter from a left-wing group that was previously agreed with the government. Everything was therefore manufactured. This guy is dirtier than Dana Perino’s mouth after 2 fireball hits.
He also says he gets most of his information from news. I guess that means CNN. Which explains his empty head. He was not aware of the attack on the Interior Ministry or the rape in Loudoun County. Because CNN only reports information that protects a pampered audience with room temperature IQs.
Politicians quote the media, and the media quote politicians. Round and round, they go. I won’t use the rude expression for that kind of circle – I don’t want Jeffrey Toobin to get mad.
So like Joe and Mayor Pete, Merrick is another Headless Horseman. No ideas, no nothing. Just strut around and leave loads of horse bullshit for the peasants to shovel. But now he’s kicked a hornet’s nest with his bare feet.
Do you think Black Lives Matter or the Tea Party was a movement? Try millions of despised parents, from all economic groups, with more racial diversity than a 1980s Benetton ad. Garland kicked the mama bear, and the bear has the temper of a Bernie Sanders constipated.
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Now parents can be at a disadvantage as activists – they’re new to it, and also they’re too busy to occupy a park, block a highway. Or poop on a sidewalk. They have real jobs. But they also have children. That I hate. But I understand.
You find yourself between parents and their children, you start a battle that will end faster than a typical Joe Biden workday. The Headless Horseman should be afraid. He said he was going to unify a country. And he did. Against him.
This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld’s opening monologue in the October 22, 2021 edition of “Gutfeld!”